Communicating Instructions to your children

One of the most important keys to minimizing problem behavior is making sure that kids are getting the message you’re trying to send. When it comes to parenting, sometimes the way instructions are given can be just as important as what you’re trying to communicate.

Here are ways to present information to your children to make it more likely that they’ll hear you, and comply:

• Be direct. Make statements rather than asking questions.
• Be close. Give instructions when you are near the child, rather than calling out from across the room.
• Use clear and specific commands. Instead of “Go ahead,” say, “Please go start…”
• Give age-appropriate instructions. Speak to your child at a level they will understand.  With older children, who are so often keenly aware of not being “a small child anymore” it’s important to be clear without being patronizing.
• Give instructions one at a time. 
• Keep explanations simple. Giving a rationale can increase the likelihood children will listen to a command, but not if the command gets lost in it. F
• Give kids time to process. After you give an instruction, wait a few seconds, without repeating what you said. Children then learn to listen to calm instructions given once rather than learning that they don’t need to listen because the instructions will be repeated. Watching and waiting also helps keep us adults from doing what we’ve requested of our kids for them